Mother’s Day is a wonderful time to show appreciation for the women in your life who have influenced and raised you, but it’s not always an easy season for everyone. As much as it brings happiness it can also bring sadness for people who are struggling to become moms, for those who have estranged relationships with their moms, or for those who have lost their moms. Jess wants everyone who experiences Mother’s Day, in whatever capacity, to feel seen and loved during this time of year, so she released a new line called the Sentimental Vibes to honor those who know what it's like to feel grief, loss, or pain during the Mother’s Day season. Our personal stories at Hello Adorn are the inspiration for this collection, so it felt natural to create something sensitive for others who might be experiencing similar situations. Our maker, Kelsey, was willing to share her story with us to shed light on what Mother’s Day can mean for others, like her, who are struggling with infertility.
In a Mother’s Day special episode, Kelsey opened up on the Hello Adorn podcast Jewelry + Stuff about her own journey with infertility and how it affected her over time. Kelsey shared that it’s “the part of motherhood that isn’t discussed as openly,” and is passionate to raise awareness about something that so many people deal with.
Kelsey shared about her and her husband, Dakota’s, visits to the fertility doctor. After years of trying and finally going to the doctor, they were left with no answers. The doctor said there's nothing wrong with either of them, but to “just keep trying”. That was extremely difficult news for Kelsey and Dakota, and made her feel like there was something wrong with her. She was having early miscarriages– which are normal and happen more often than people realize– and was trying all sorts of methods to enhance fertility. Kelsey tried yoga, veganism, head stands, acupuncture, chiropractic, and eventually IUI (in uterine insemination).
IUI was something that Kelsey and Dakota needed to put a little extra thought into because it is an expensive process not covered by insurance. Kelsey also had to take medication that affected her hormones and emotions with significant side effects. However, she was willing to try that to get pregnant– “if you gave me jelly beans and told me to pat my belly, I would have”. Kelsey and Dakota tried IUI four times with no results. After the last IUI she started to struggle with her mental health. In her interview, she explained how she had to grapple with the emotions of watching others get pregnant. She said she felt “sad for [herself], but happy for them. Ya know, there’s space for both”.
Kelsey started to open up to friends about her journey, which allowed her to see that she is not alone. She also started her company Midwest Mean, featuring printed wall banners and tote bags, to remember who she is outside of wanting children. She was able to use Midwest Mean as a creative and sarcastic outlet. Kels is known around Hello Adorn for being hilarious and having the best laugh– her products at Midwest Mean definitely reflect that!
Eventually Kelsey and Dakota decided to try IVF (in vitro fertilization). This was another big decision because of the sizable financial commitment. However, they found a doctor and hospital in Mexico that were extremely personable and attentive, and a much less expensive option than staying in the United States. While she knew that some people might raise eyebrows at leaving the country for IVF, Kels shared that she has “not had a better healthcare experience than [she] had in Mexico”.
She flew down with her mom for the first half of the trip (Dakota would come down for the second half) to start her cycle. However, Kelsey’s cycle never started. She definitely didn’t consider pregnancy but her doctor urged her to test before starting medication for IVF (which is extremely timely). Kelsey and her mom went to a grocery store and bought a pregnancy test. Once she tested, they saw a faint line. Kelsey was very skeptical at that point–the test must have been wrong! However, they rushed back to the grocery store to purchase two more tests, this time grabbing the digital kind. After getting back to their place, she diluted one, so she only had one left and was down to the wire until she had to start her IVF medication. The second test blinked for what felt like HOURS– but eventually read “embarazada”. Unfortunately neither Kelsey nor her mom speak Spanish, so she had to Google the answer only to find out that embarazada means pregnant!!! Saying the screams of excitement on the maker's mezzanine could be heard from Mexico is an understatement.
So with a happy twist of events– Kelsey and Dakota are expecting their baby girl on October 9th of 2023! Read the interview on the podcast with Lau and Rich where Kelsey provided insight about her infertility and general advice for those dealing with infertility or for people who may be their support systems.
Q: What is your biggest piece of advice for someone and their partner going through infertility?
A: Get back to the basics: remember why you’re together, take care of yourself, and know who your support system is.
Q: What is your advice for those who are the support system of someone dealing with infertility?
A: Be educated before judging their situation and communicate well when things feel hard. Sit with me and I’ll sit with you where you’re at– it helps to not feel weird.
Q: What are the main things not to say to someone who is going through infertility– or just a couple in general?
A: Pleaseeee don’t ask:
- When are you having kids or how many?
- Why do you want to have kids?
- Why would it be the worst thing in the world to not have kids?
- Are you doing it right?
- Just relax & it’ll happen.
- Why don’t you just adopt or foster?
- Why don’t you just do a procedure?
We are honored by Kelsey’s openness and willingness to share her story with not only the Hello Adorn family, but also our followers. She inspires solidarity and also shows true light and strength by sharing all parts of her story. Kels shared, “I wish I had an answer for people about what worked for me but I don't, this is just my journey”.
Pineapple Necklace: Pineapples have become a powerful symbol representing infertility. It has been suggested by the medical community that eating the bromelain from a pineapple could improve the implantation process, but this has never been proven. Regardless of the indeterminate medicinal properties, this symbol has become a beacon of hope for women who are on a difficult journey with fertility. Interested in our other Sentimental Necklaces? Scroll down to learn more.
Interested in our other Sentimental Vibes?
Sunshine Baby Necklace: The label “sunshine baby” symbolically represents the calm before the storm. It can refer to a baby born before any type of child loss, including miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, blighted ovum, early infant death, or abortion. Some roads to motherhood are more winding than others. Honor your journey.
Cloud Baby Necklace: The label “cloud baby” symbolically represents a baby lost due to miscarriage, stillbirth or loss in the days, weeks, months or even years after childbirth. Some roads to motherhood are more winding than others. Honor your journey.
Rainbow Baby Necklace: The label “rainbow baby” symbolically represents the rainbow after the storm. It can refer to a baby born after a previous miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. Some roads to motherhood are more winding than others. Honor your journey.
Butterfly Necklace: Many believe that butterflies have a connection to the spirit world. A visit from a butterfly after the passing of a loved one is a sign that they are watching out for you and that even though they are not there in the form they once were, they are still very much present in your life.
Semicolon Necklace: The semicolon represents a place where a sentence could end, but continues on. This meaning has been transferred to suicide awareness and prevention as a symbol for battling through mental health struggles.
